Friday, November 28, 2008
i am reali very tiredtoo tired of guessing the motive of his actiontoo tired of all the hearing here n theretoo tired of seeking for the answer...i say berline wont lose herself over himbut here i am losing myself.everything mention out of my mouth was his nameeven up to the extendi suspect he likes my frenz.Quarrel had been stirred,Discussion had been chat,Guesses had been suspectbut no answer was been made.if he even know, will he even show?今天寂寞感覺忽然又出現哭泣是因為不想偽裝悲傷那一面我不要找藉口而只想一人走掉把愛留在街角就當你永遠不會看到
但我发觉我还是做不到 |
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| BerLine❤ 10:16 PM |
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
quite lazy to post tis few daysmaybe will stop posting for a moment...have been poning class half way for the past fews daysi just have no mood to studywent out with frenz until night timebut i still dun feel lyk going home...everyday i had to listen to all those shitmaking me so reluctant to go homeor maybe i shld call it a hotel instead...now i know tat in order to survive in tis familythe only way is to be independentbcoz no one will give a damn about what you do...since you say you wont care anymoreden it is time for me to get independentbut you will hav no control over my life anymore...i had enough! Not Anymore!我不敢期望太大，因为怕到头来是我自己想太多除非他自己承认真的喜欢我，否则我另可保持现在这样I was afraid i will lose myself even before i know the answer. |
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| BerLine❤ 11:11 PM |
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Monday, November 24, 2008
Super tiring today...
obviously not enough rest during weekendfeel so restless...cog lesson today againthe super hyper n mother like facibut i dun understand anything today.the problem just make me so confusedwanted to run off halfwaylucky i didn bcoz my grade was shitty enough...yuki was not here today againso cant go out after sch...class finish earlyso i went home after finishing RJbut to find my ezlink missing after boarding the busat first i thought i lost ituntil later den i know dom took it. dotz.but lucky it is not lostif not mother will kill me...anyway i gt it back=] Draw by dom. smile=P
Found a super nice web. so cute!http://www.mlzx.org/love/1001/index.htm我期待每天看到他，只要他能天天开心，我就满足了。 |
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| BerLine❤ 11:35 PM |
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
wohoo! fashion show again today...late again todaywas suppose to meet 11.45ambut i reach woodland at 12plusso sorry people!went to sch to do the makeup for SJbefore the bus fetch us to tao payoh hubthe show start at 4.00pmn compared to the previous showtis time round was obviously better .Our model: Siew Jun.
 .Artists: Me n Yuki. .Models in the bus.
 SJ on stage! End of the show...I told my kor tis todayjust to stop him for badmouth himbcoz kor say maybe he is a coward..."If you reali like someoneit is not about saving ur face or notbut it is about having the courage to admit itn going for it or not..."it dun sound lyk something berline will saybcoz i know even if i hav the courage to admit itbut i dun hav the courage to go for it...does it mean i shld just give up on him?or shld i wait n let time do the job? |
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| BerLine❤ 11:18 PM |
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sister outing again! accompany yuki go buy new year clothings tis time round... first we went to bugis to collect the hoodie den we went to the temple for praying hope wat i pray can come truth=] next we went to orchard start off from far east when we went for desert at SLICE  we order Summer Fling n Major Crush. i love Major Crush for its name n sweetness but Summer Fling also quite nice i want to eat tis deserts again! anyone want to accompany me go eat? hehe... after eating then we went around orchard meet dom around 8 plus den we walk around until 10 plus before going to bedok for dinner thought i could catch the last 87 bus home but the last bus went off at 11.30pm in the end had to take cab home... |
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| BerLine❤ 10:55 PM |
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Friday, November 21, 2008
damn fuck up today
shld not mention why here
was in such a bad mood
tat i push everyone away
i am sry if i offended anyone
but stay away from me today
if u ar trying to make things harder for me...
went to sch today
but went off half way
bad mood just spoil everything...
i finally let everything out today
told yuki who the rainbow prince is...
after wat happen
i dunno wat to think anymore
i couldn guess the objective behind his words
neither can i confirm anything...
i wan to apologise tat i lie to yuki at first
not bcoz i dun treat her as frenz
or dun trust her
but is bcoz i cannot confirm anything
or trying to convince myself there is no such thing...
hope she can forgive me
n we will stay as wat we use to be...
tis issue is the onli thing i hide from you
reali so sorry! The letter B for Berline. She Pormised She Wont Lose Herself. |
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| BerLine❤ 9:50 PM |
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Thursday, November 20, 2008
Someone Please Tell Me What Happen.tiring day todaywoke up late tis morningso late that i was for sure late for UTso i decided not to go schn ended up slacking at mac with yuki again...went off to tampines for shopping after tatwent around until 5 plus before heading home...before it is knowni wan to know what happenafter it is knowni hope i nvr know or ask in the first place...izzit i done something wrongor izzit she think too much?i wanted an explanationbut i dun dare to askcan someone tell me wat reali happen? |
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| BerLine❤ 11:58 PM |
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Forget All The Unhappiness.very bad morning for todayfirstly i woke up late than usualrush to prepare and quickly get outwhen secondly i saw three accidentsjust on the way to schand in the end i was still latefaci was not here todayand tat blur faci is taking us for three weeks!just when i step out of the lifti feel lyk turning back when i haven even step into the classtat faci just dun care...i leave at the third meeting to meet yuki n her sis at CWwent to borrow some books before she arriveafter which we when to MOS for lunchbefore heading back to sch for the rehearsalwent to orchard after rehearsalwith yuki, her sis, dom n riccafound a pair of heel i like from 'wardrode'but in the end drop the idea of buyingbcoz other than spending money on foodi wan to save up the money from christmas shoppingso waiting for their new design heel...i dunno to say it is a gd or bad shopping trip todaybut to people who knowit is nobody faultso forgive n forget if there is something u unhappy abtdun think too much=]on the way home something just caught me thinkingsometime people hav different views on youbut when u think they know uactually they didn know the real youit is not bcoz they didn try to knowbut it is urself been afraid to let others knowjust like deep down insideyou know there is something u hav been protectingsomething tat no one know...我已经不知如何想我和他之间的关系只有能让心和他带着我走He the only one who can bring happy to my life everydayjust like a rainbow, the rainbow prince=] |
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| BerLine❤ 11:34 PM |
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Monday, November 17, 2008
Everything Just Occur At The Wrong Timing.things just happen out of no whereone moment we ar just frenzone moment u ask for a patchi am not blaming on youbut think back abt wat u sayeven u didn kiss or touch her at allbut why choose to turn back to meonli after u broke up with gf?ur words dun give me any trustlet alone be with youfurther more i already had someone in mindso hope u can understand daryln pls stop making both of us feeling guiltythe whole day was fine until moment agomy mood was just so fuck upn i reali feeling lyk cryingwhy the person wasnt tat someone i hope for?so far i had rejected three personn i am still hoping for tat particular someone
i dunno how long can i hold on anymoreeverytime i feel lyk giving upur little words or action pull me backu got the ability to cheer me up fullywhich Ed could nvr done itbut u also got the ability to send me back to depressjust with thinking of the ans i seeking for...pls do not treat me tat gdunless if you reali like mebcoz i might not able to wait till the ans is reveal...damn tired todayfeel lyk sleeping the moment i sit on the bedbut lesson was fun todaywas glad tat i stayat least the faci try out something newnot the old style of ppt again...had been looking for new songs recentlysome ar super nicewith meaningfull lyricswhich touched one heartcan one day those lyrics touched his heart too?我到地能够坚持到你给我答案的那天吗? |
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| BerLine❤ 9:36 PM |
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Sunday, November 16, 2008
Haunt Of Nightmares. Feeling Of Losing Something.deaths dreams are commonNightmares are raresince long time i had one of itytd was one of those type i hate most...in the dream a man was chasing after mehe was cover with dark blue bloodn i was carry baby vienna in my hand.i wanted to pass vienna to someonebut everyone refused to help even mummy.sleep until 12 plus todayhad to wake up countless times during the nightbcoz of the nightmareseverything leaving me the feeling of helplessas if i lose something...stay home the whole daybcoz sun is the onli day where there is peacebro went swimming so at least i could enjoy the quiet for a while...i was ask by mummy to skip sch tmlso that i can go bro sch with hernormally i would be so happy to heard tatbut dunno why i feel so reluctant tis timehai shld i skip or not?had been quite forgetful recentlywas suppose to tell Yh ytd morningwhether i want to go out with her ytd anotbut i onli remember it just nowwhen daryl ask abt celebrate my birthdayn i totally forgot abt my birthdayif it wasnt daryl who remind me...hai seriously my thought was not hereso consider n prepare before toking to me ppldunno anyone to vomit blood toking to me...有人说聪明女孩别陷入恋爱里会变多疑，会常生气，变得失去自己。有人说过爱情不如想象那样甜蜜我却无法戒掉爱情，整个世界都是你。 |
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| BerLine❤ 11:28 PM |
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Friday, November 14, 2008
Self-Assumption Kills.his gd deed to get closebecome something i use to kill myselfwhen u assume something to turn out this waybut it turn out oppositeno matter how it bring u downppl around u still hope u can move onbut wat if i am stuck at tis confused state?today mood was just as bad as ytd nightwoke up with dizzywhen everything before me went blurwent out the house at usual timen took the usual busbut bcoz of the jam at expresswayin the end had to miss the UT...lesson was obviously bad toocant understand a single thing at allwas thinking of going of halfwaybut didn wan to go home tat earlyso choose to stay...the dizzyness was still there for the whole dayeven until nowthe moment i look downit become damn giddy...Ed say i got low blood pressurebut i doubt sowas ask to try curing using panadolso went to the booklink to buyn pop down 2 panadolbut in the end is still the same...hai hopefully i dun get sick at tis point of time除非你真的喜欢我否则求你不要对我那么好因为我会很容易就喜欢上你 |
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| BerLine❤ 12:31 AM |
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Misses For Him. Hatred For Myself. Feeling So Stupid.reali hate myself for been so stupidalready promised not to cry againbut i just lost controlletting the hurt from all those years overtake mecausing those tears to free flow once more...the ans i seeking for seem to appearhe treat other girls the same way he treat men if i am not wronghe even got someone he like...i feel so stupid to fall for himjust bcoz he treat me gd,letting me forget the hurt tat idiot cause,making me stand up n get on my dayjust for the seek of seeing him.but now every hope just crushdropping my mood to the lowest pointletting all the hurt drowned me in my tears...can someone pls save me n take me away?lesson was gd todayalthough the problem was difficultwe had to use simultaneous equations to solve itwhich i hate amaths so muchbut we still manage to finish it on the spot...yuki didn come sch todaybcoz of her sudden swollen eyehope she can get well soonn come on fri for the fashion show...不管我有多么伤心但还是想着他我到底应该放弃吗? |
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| BerLine❤ 8:45 PM |
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
No appetite. Tired. Self-torture.today record is 25 hrs without foodi seriously got no appetite to eatlazyness is just an excuseforcing myself to eat is reali self-tortureother than nutrisoy n lollipop,i take nth else...class was gd todaygot help from frenz for all the referencesanyhow do, anyhow gofaci was very detail in everythingbut lucky we manage to slip pass anyway...super tired of thinkingalthough i keep telling myself there is nth to worry abt...he seem so near yet so farimpossible to be reachalthough i was in front of himbut he would nvr know how i feel abt him...seeing him make me contentedbut thinking more deeply make me confusedi couldn guess the ans i was seeking forneither did i hav the courage to assume itonli hoping one day the ans will reveal itselfbringing all the mixed feeling bolted inside awayreturning the happiness i long for again我总是装做无所谓但其实十分在乎他有再好条件的男生追但满脑子都依然是他 |
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| BerLine❤ 10:33 PM |
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tis blog is seriously dead!as dead as the owner is...although i do post everydaybut it is lyk a routinerepeating those acts i did again n again everyday...today lesson was on cognitive,problem is about metaphorsn lastly the mother like faci...was late for class againincluding the mon blue tat throw me off moodplus didn sleep at all last nightbcoz i was not used to the new pillow...the faci try to make lesson interesting again...was ask to discribe a person using metaphorn the person i got was ricca...seriously i was damn stressbcoz of my bad eng n i dunno wat to write at allbut in the end it came out still manageable...mine was discribe by dom,i dunno wat to say but thx anyway=]overall today lesson was not badbut hope it will be better for tml...no appetite at all...last meal since ytd noonit been 30 hrs without foodn obviously i broke my record again...something i want to say will be say...confirming thing before saying itbcoz i respect you as a frenzn not bcoz i trying to hide something...those mixed feeling bolted insidenid more time to be sorted outbut i admit tat i had a crush on tat "someone"就算我们有缘分相遇那就代表我们就敢主动去保握吗?虽然喜欢他但却不敢接近也无法知道他是如何看待自己最后只能站在原地等待缘分的安排。。。 |
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| BerLine❤ 1:00 AM |
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Sunday, November 09, 2008
cleaning up day!wake up around 11plus...hav mac for breakfast cum lunchbefore i start cleaning up the whole house.it hav been months since i last do housework.first i change my bedsheet,bring all my bearbear for washing,vacuum the floor den beg father to mop the floorn lastly to clean up the messy desktop.after seeing how dirty the house isi seriously dunno what the use of having a maid at homeother than looking after vienna n helping mummy cookplus auntie always take thing n nvr put it back!hai but cant blame her alsobcoz she is unlucky to hav such a bad owner[my cousin]who fav habit is to ask the maid eat maggie noodleunlike mummy who dote on her so much la...went out for dinner with mummyalso to collect my contact lens!i am so used to wear contact lens outso it is super weird when i wear spec out.the person say had some white spotbut was removedso after 3 month must bring it back for checking=]因为有他才让我期待明天的到来。。。 |
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| BerLine❤ 8:15 PM |
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Friday, November 07, 2008
it is so hard to just ask for some peace?after a long day out at schooli still hav to come home to heard her nagging...sometime i reali think she is a failure as a motherbcoz other than cooking the meal for familyshe reali hope she can dun bother abt other thingn the inproper handling of the financial by herin the end had to been taken up by me...every words of her just turn my mood aroundfrom happy to hatred...sometime i reali hope i can stay out until midnightso tat at least i had peace outsidebut i was onli 2 hrs late for homen she had to give me moment of hell...pls stop treating me like a child, mummy!i dun nid u to give me all the things i want,but all i ask for is just quiet time when i return home.how many times i wanted to tell u to stop ur nonsensebut i just cant bring myself to say it outbcoz i respect u as my motherbut did u respect me as ur daughter?you vent ur stress n anger on us,making the house so noisy everydaybut think back,izzit all this cause by the wrong choice of yours?i hope i still will be calling u mummy for the rest of my life,not till i choose to leave everything behind n moveden there will be no turning backbcoz i am tired n i had enough...wake up damn early today.
agree to meet up for breakfast before sch
so had to force myself to wake up early
but in the end i was still late
lesson was gd today.
problem was easy to understand
n the faci didn confused but convince today haha...
den meet up with the supplier after sch
suppose to meet 5.30pm
but she was late until 6.30pm
anyway i got my new bag!!!PS: about stranger tag, i can onli say tat my post got nth to do with SpadeS.that person i wrote abt is not SpadeSbcoz i got nth to do with SpadeS anymoreneither do i even wan to mention abt him. SpadeS is FOREVER gone in berline's lifeso pls do not mention abt him again. i got my new life=]一整天, 每分每秒, 想着的人都是他。。。 |
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| BerLine❤ 9:15 PM |
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Thursday, November 06, 2008
can someone tell me wat exactly happen to me?had not been myself tis few daysor rather not in the right mindseem lyk my thought had wander somewhereto a place where i dun dare to admitsince holiday start till nowmy thought had not been thereeven simple thing would hav been misinterpretfor example last fri i ask BC how to go her sch from AMK hubMe: "How do i get to ur sch(NYP) from AMK hub?" BC: "Take 159 from the stop outside AMK hub. The stop got S11 behind it." Me: "huh? so i take S11 la?" BC: "S11 is the coffee shop behind the stop la!"
it is so stpuid laeven yuki keep laughing when i told her...i think i reali nid to stop toking to ppl if tis go onif not everyone reali going to vomit blood from toking to me...hav science UT today againall dunno how to do except the bio parti had prepare to fail it hai...lesson was damn bored todayalthough i got a evil but funny facihe look lyk a childish man[老玩童]but too bad i dun even understand the problem statementso i wasnt interested at all...was super low mood until Ed brighten me up...although he didn manage to cheer me up totallybcoz of some reason which onli he knowbut still had to thx him for chatting with meat least he make me smile for tat day...i apologized i cannot promised him tat i will be happybcoz onli tat "someone" can reali cheer me upbut i can onli promised i will try=]属于我的昨天之前的结局 我决定我的决定属于我的明天之后的憧憬 我迷信我的迷信属于我们的爱 该来的就会来的无论何时何地心情是否好坏 都希望可以和他在一起而我相信的又会是真的吗?就算我成认我真的很想他他会不会知道或在乎? |
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| BerLine❤ 10:51 PM |
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Wednesday, November 05, 2008
late again for sch as usualUT was quite okbut bcoz was late tat why didn manage to complete it...enterprise lesson today was ok toobut went off during second breakoutdidn did it on purposepartly i was restlessi shall not mention whythe annoucement of presenting at the lecture hall also throw me off moodplus the sudden of gastic pain again...25hrs before my last mealwhich is since ytd first breakouti practically break my record again...hav been wasting food since the habit came backsince no mood to eatden might as well save up the money...went to library to find yuki after leaving classwe manage to complete one row of the bagalthough it is a bit loose...den went to causeway happily shoppinguntil after i board the bus to go homeden i find something missing...bcoz if my carelessnessi left someone form in the classn i feel so stupid n helpless out of suddendunno i shld turn back to get it or not...sms for help in case the cleaner throw it awaybut den most of them not in sch or nvr replylucky thx wenxi for finding the form n help me keep itif not mummy would hav kill me if i reali lose it...anyway i got to complete the bag asaphope to finish it by fri...maybe i can even make more deisng n sell if possible=]是时候我醒醒看清楚现实不是我的永远都不会是我的天真自以为的事其实都是一场空我无法猜出他的想法如果是我单恋也只会带来痛苦而放弃是最好的方法是注定的话就算放弃也最后会在一起 |
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| BerLine❤ 12:05 AM |
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Tuesday, November 04, 2008
today is first day of sch reopen again...it is a miracle that i nvr think of going off halfway at allat least the faci is interesting=]lesson was ok but others thing was notfirst i spill something on myself during breakeven without me knowing how i do it...second i wanted to ask wenxi for cog pptin the end i ask for sci ppt without knowing...plus i am not the onli weird onekor was worst among all...he freak me out with tat three sudden words on msni wont mention wat he saybut pls dun do tat again next timeanyway the lesson end late again...bought a packet of transparent straws on my way homen i going to made a bag/ purse out of straws_z.jpg) same pattern as tis onli the design is different...it took me 3 hrs to search online on how to do itplus another 1 hrs figuring how to apply it using strawbut hope i can finish it on time=]我把信念交给缘分， 一切都靠天意吧。。。 |
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| BerLine❤ 12:40 AM |
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Sunday, November 02, 2008
tiring day today!didn sleep well last nightbcoz SM stay overnightn she insist of sleeping on the same bed with mein the end i was waken up so many times...firstly is partly i not used itsecondly is bcoz she toss around lyk she dunno she is not sleeping alone...always regret after sharing bed with her but nvm...went out around 1pm to meet yuki n LLden we went sch for preparationbcoz today is the big event for the fashion show!it is the first time i do makeup for someone lamummy say i dun even put makeup for myselflater the person sure die onebut it came out ok i guessat least not as bad as the one on makeup workshop hehe...yuki did the hairstyleshe is so pro not onli in designing but also in stylingthe show took place at woodland CCit was a success but not a very gd onebcoz all the model do their catwalk super fasteven photographer do not hav the enough time to take their picsbut overall is still okafter the event finish we went our own wayrush home to go dinner with mummyn i bought a new dress again!it is from dunno korean/japanplus it got my got my fav style...checkered!anyway i wanted to bought a sandal alsobut dun hav my sizeso mummy order it n will get it on wed hehe=]每次我总是一个人走会不会有一天他会和我一起走带走我一个人自转的寂寞。。。sometime i reali wonder is it possiblefeeling tell me to go aheadbrain tell me to stopmaybe he dun even know wat i was thinkingeven if he know there might not be any outcomemay everything be leave in the hand of fatewat shld happen will always comethink too much will onli bring misery... |
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| BerLine❤ 11:22 PM |
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