Friday, October 31, 2008
happy day again!
wake up onli at 12noon...
help mummy to do the work
which she help auntie siew do
all we hav to do is to seal the side of the cupboard
n make 1000 boxes = $10
had to complete the work as fast as possible
so i was ask to seal before going out...
went out around 6pm to watch angie band concert
was suppose to hav dinner with YH first before going
but bcoz both of us was late
so we bought donut instead
den meet Bc n her bf at AMK hub
after which we walk to NYP...
anyway we reach there on the spot
the concert start at 7.30pm
angie was in string group[thrid violin]
so hers performance is the first 3 songs...
the concert was seriously gd
but we didn finish watching everything
BC n her bf wanted to leave earlier
bcoz bth of them is falling asleep
den me n YH went off with them too
bcoz both of us was so damn hungry
YH didn had her dinner n i didn eat anything for the whole day...
in the end BC n her bf went home
den me n YH went to hav mac before heading home...
seriously i am reali glad tat i wasnt from NYP
first is tat the sch reali look lyk hospital
esp when it was at night
it look reali scary with the long, quiet n empty corridoor...
second is during the performance
although we didn know whether ppl is from NYP
but shouting here n there during the performance reali throw ppl mood off
i still lyk the concert from YH's sch
it look more lyk a FORMAL concert!!!
anyway i enjoy going out today
able to meet those girls again
but i had to come home with a limp
including a bleeding toe=[
all bcoz of tat stupid heels
got to get a new pair of heels soon... |
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| BerLine❤ 11:58 PM |
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
went to sch for rehersal todayso late again!sms to meet yuki at interby the time i reach inter is already 2pmthought i will kill me for been latebut when i reach inter she is not there!!!she was even worst...she overslept n reach sch onli around 3 plus...so me n lianli went sch first...the rehersal was a funny one thoughnot trying to offend anyonebut some of them look weird doing catwalkesp the guys...anyway it was ok in the endn the rehersal end earlyso me, yuki n lianli went to mac to fill up our stomachobviously bcoz we haven eaten anything for the whole day!!! |
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| BerLine❤ 11:52 PM |
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
two days nvr post leobviously bcoz i am too lazyor i am so tired to post...sun whole day stay home slacknth much except for chatting onlinen playing games the whole day...monday was suppose to meet yukibut i was drag to bugis for prayingtogether with mummy, bro, SM n her motherafter tat we went to SM houseuntil 10plus at night den her father send us home...wake up by mummy 7am in the morning todaybcoz she thought i got sch...so fall back asleep until vienna wake me up againmeet yuki at TMwas again super late...went to hav lunchbefore going to her house to finish the design for tml uses...one of her design was to make a bubble skirtn had to fold many small paper balls...we took 3 hrs n onli manage to fold 30it is such a failure la...plus fold until hand pain n eye blur blur...at first wanted to find ppl help usbut couldn find anyone who stay near byso we fold as much as we canthe remaining one yuki had to burn midnight oil to finish...some ppl just so brainlessn tat just stop their childish acts...if both decided to go go separt waysden wat for nid to block the other partie way?they like to dug up old thingjust to make the other partie guiltyor in other words to make themselves feel better...my suggestion to SpadeS is to go n think abtwho is blocking whos way nowbefore u hav the dare to come n tag my blog...每当我的脑海里出现他时， 我脸上就会不知不觉地出现了笑容。。。 |
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| BerLine❤ 11:55 PM |
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Saturday, October 25, 2008
wat is the real meaning of home?the home i wan is a safe n quiet placewhere u can leave out all ur stressn rest whenever u feel so tiredbut wat is my home?it is a place tat make me more stresswith all the noises everydayif it is not tat i nid a place to sleepi wont wan to stay a second longerreali wish i can move out asap...wake up 12plus todaygot no choice but to stay home for the rest of the dayhate whenever i had to stay homeeverytime end up quarreling with mummyshe say as long as there is a single day we had to eat n drink hersden it is a must we listen to herso is it tat as long as i dun hav to depend on herden she will not interfer with my life anymore?i had been keeping low profile of wat i dojust to let myself off her controlshe think she know everything abt mebut actually she know nth at alleven lesser than wat my frenzs know abt...pls know ur limited of controli am not a kid anymoredun force me until the day i leftden i wont be ur daughter u ever known i wont be back anymore..为什么有他的存在就会让我很开心，但如果他不在我身边时我就会闷闷不乐呢？ |
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| BerLine❤ 7:24 PM |
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Friday, October 24, 2008
was super late for school todaygot jam all the way from sengkang to woodlandso went mac for breakfast with yukibefore going to sch for second meeting...the problem today is super hardor shld i say i dun understand itbcoz i am not fully awake yet...almost wanted to leave after second meetingbut stay in the end to help those guys do ppti am sry the ppt was such a bad onethe faci say it is too short hai...stay in sch until 5 pluswaited for the person to call to collect the bagsin the end 4 of the bag haven arrivedincluding the one i orderso disappointing la...rush off to meet YH, BC n LLT at compassden went to mac for dinneri had been eating mac for the whole daysure going to grow fat lor...we chatted for a while before ruth camewhen she happen to saw her classmaten her classmate BF happen to be shawn from my class la!!!so damn surprising sia...the world is so small la...den we went walk walk after leaving macBC went to POPULAR to buy her stationaryn we got nth to shopso i went to deposite moneybefore heading home...was super tired todaybut was a super happy day toolong time since i meet up with u girlshope we meet up soon again=]是不是我想太多， 那可能是我一时的误解吗？ |
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| BerLine❤ 11:21 PM |
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Thursday, October 23, 2008
i was glad i attended class todayalmost didn wan to go...yuki didn attend today anywayask her come but she refused to get up...pls start coming on thur yuki!if not reali hav to retake next year...today topic is on DNAtoking abt the deform of red blood celland it even can cause cancer!i was wonder whether G6PD counted?if yes does it mean i hav a higher chance getting cancer?maybe i was thinking too much...condition of my health shld be decided by heaveni onli live my life as i wan=]chat with Yh n Jac today again...at first was toking abt Yh problembut the conversation got drag awayn it happen to fall on my recent problemso i told them wat happen...it is first time i told someone the whole truthother than blogging here...it reali make me feel much bettern reali thx so much u girls...i think they ar the onli one i can say it all out to
reali glad to hav them...i know i am a introverthard to get close or understandother than those close frenzi wont say anything tat is over my comfort zoneonli those try to get close ar ppl i will ever trust...like wat other ppl saythere is some many guy out thereu shld just let go on someone not worth itn i must admit it is true of what they say...once going onto the online world
i become another person
a person who is the opposite of the reality selfn i can find a bf easilybut do those ppl reali understand me?i bet it is not so why bother to waste the time?if i was going to hav a bf again...i learn to observe how much the person reali understand men how close the person is with me before deciding=]他不会知道他的主动， 对我的心情会有什么影响。。。 |
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| BerLine❤ 8:44 PM |
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008
smooth for today...
instead i shld say it is a pleasant day
finally my mood go for a change
not totally back to my old self
all least it is not as bad as the days before
but I am super sleepy!
attended school today
obviously bcoz there is UT today
almost late but i got there on the spot...
lesson was damn hard today
i could onli understand the first part
but couldn figure out the second part
in the end i gave up all...told the faci i got something onn went home early after presenting
the moment i step into homethe pleasant mood just vanishseeing the chao of the housesometime i reali wish i can moved out asapppl in tis house make life miserable for each otherever since the day mummy wan to chase me outi swear tis was not my home anymoren i will sure moved out no matter wat...she can make watever empty promises againbut i am not going to tolerate anymorejust lyk my words hit her straight todaybcoz she is just so guitly consciousi decided to join the fashion show
at first was lack of model
but in the end manage to ask lianli and siewjun to be our model
n yuki was the backup herself...
pls do not last min blackout ppl
I wont wan Elena to force me
Neither wont u wan to see a no look, no figure n ugly model on stage=]
the show will be held on 2nov
at woodland CC...
hope everything will goes well
at least i can keep my mind occupy for the sch holiday
letting off the problem
i got onli one thing in mind
something tat i cannot predict the outcome...
he seem near yet so far
i dun hav the courage to get near
onli hope he will be fine with everything...
他的小小主动的现象
让我感觉到他为人的好
但当我有点想靠近时
那些现象却不见了
而我却不敢主动靠近
只能站在原地 |
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| BerLine❤ 10:18 PM |
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008
wat is past is past le...some ppl just dun understand anything
n all they know is use their bloody words
to poke at other ppl wound
blocking the way of moving on...i had pay the price...
using tis relationship as a bet
to force him to study
in the end everyone say it was my fault
since u ppl disapproved of my way
so why dun u ppl help him in the first place?he had already moved onhappily with his new gf...den why cant i move on too?everyone tell me to ignore those commentbut is it possible for me to reali ignore it?i tried but i am reali so tired...class as usual today...wasnt late n i did attend schdun reali hav the moodbut i stay until the last meeting anyway...someone play tat song 'guardian angel' during break timeit just hit me so strong tat i wanted to cryletting me hate myself for been so stupid...rush off to IG after classonli a few ppl attended the meetinghad some event in the holidayscant decide to join anot with my current moodbut 6CE point is a super gd chance...i cant stop thinking on my way homethe feeling of crying bolt up again..reali hope tat someone can lend me the shoulder to cry onn after tat i will be back to the old berlineOR...is there a kind of medicinetat can make me sleep until 31decbefore waking up to celebrate my 17birthdayto start a fresh new lifetreating everything just lyk a dream...althought i know it is impossiblebut i dunno how to make my mood better anymore...我不知道为何我那么在乎他的所作所为， 但我知道是不可能的。。。PS: this is the last time i am going to post something related tohim(spades) , so do not relate wat i post to him anymore bcozi am over with him n pls get ur fact right before commenting next time, if not den mind ur own business.i got my limit, dun blame me for been nasty! |
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| BerLine❤ 7:18 PM |
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Monday, October 20, 2008
it was raining so heavily outsidewhile i was writing this posti just wish i could stand in the rainhiding the tears amoung the raindropsletting the droplets drain my doubt awayto stop me from thinking nonstop...i dunno why i feel so fuck up todaylyk something hanging in my heartthe desire to get closebut yet i know it so impossibleor rather i dun hav the courage to...i just feel so uselessletting it destroy my moodtaking my smile away...monday blue againwasnt late for schbut didn go sch againsimply i really not in the mood...i dunno how long tis is going to lastneither did i know the old berline will be back or not...slack at mac againwas busy engross in my playing n chattinguntil i was going to buy my drinkden i notice the guy sitting opposite me staringit is so damn uncomfortable with him staring laso i diao him hopping he stopbut it make no use lahe just look lyk prevert staring laso i told yuki...she turn around to give the guy tat lookn change place to sit beside me hahathen she start nagging to go tampine to buy siew jun presentbut i dun feel lyk getting upso i let her nag for 1 hourbefore i pack up to gowe ended up at causeway point instead of tampine mall...bought a bear necklace for SJn i bought a letter 'B' necklace for myselfbefore finally heading back home...mummy ask for help again!everytime i had to settle tis type of problem...heard she got nose bleed againtis not the first time alreadysure something was wrongso how can i not help her settle?although i reali dislike helping herbut overall she is still my mother...we nvr know whether or when it will spreadwat if one day she is gone out of suddenwould tis family still survived?hai i could onli help to lessen her worrieslet her live more happily... |
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| BerLine❤ 7:00 PM |
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Sunday, October 19, 2008
some ppl say he was trying to make thing gdonli tat it was me tat didn give him chance...some ppl say tat he already give it all uponli tat it was me the silly one who cant move on...depend ppl had different view on tis relationshipi heard enough, seen enough, heard enough...for those who tag to give advicei could onli say it is over and i dun wan to mention it againfor those who tag to scold mei can onli say i dun give a heckbcoz i got enoughit is all too tiring...to stop myself from stop thinkingi got to pay a high price...i dunno how long i could standjust hope i wont break down so soon...hai slack at home for weekend againyuki got to workplus i am too lazy to get outsleep until 12 plus before i finally get off the bedi got no appetite at alleither i eat but i cannot even finish half bowl of riceor haven eat i already feel lyk vomitso as yuki suggestedi shld just save up the money...went to library to borrow books againlong time since i readbut bcoz tired of mummy nagging me to offline every nighti decided to switch to readingso she will keep quiet n leave me alone... |
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| BerLine❤ 11:21 PM |
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Saturday, October 18, 2008
skip, skip, skip!skip sch again...bcoz i just refused to get upsms yuki n she say she not going tooso we decided to continue sleepingden meet up later...went to tampine to look for herat first wanted to go city hallbut bcoz she got work at nightso we ended up at tat 'i so dun wan to go' placei admit i was so bored tat why no choice lor...then we went to watch the movie 'butterfly lovers'before she head off to work...feel lyk crying suddenly on the way homeit just came out of no whereso many question arise recentlyit is just like giving me the chance to shut myself up againjust lyk the past...lastly...sry Yh tat i didn meet you todayn u hav to make a wasted trip to CPbcoz i was very latebut we will meet up soon with others=] |
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| BerLine❤ 1:14 AM |
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Thursday, October 16, 2008
i did go to sch todaybut was late as usualplus got UT todaylucky was onli late for 2 minbut no different from missing the UT labcoz i cannot even ans a single question la...today science topic is abt Heredity...i was doing some research when some question pop up in my mindbut the worst question tat keep me thinking is why both of my parent dun hav G6PD but i happen to got it?yuki say maybe my grandparent hav itso it is also present in my father blood...although i know one of my cousin hav G6PD toobut wat i dun understand is tat if it is present in my father blood den why my father is not G6PD deficiency?bcoz if i am not wrong onli women will be G6PD carriers...i also find out G6PD symptoms include weak pulseso maybe it explain why my pulse is onli 13when a person shld be abt 100but i cannot confirm it is right la...although i am very interested in those questionbut i wont ask my motherbcoz since young when i ask hershe will onli say there is something missing in my blood...who know there is some truth behind i dun wan to knowso let it be ba...it all my fate...ok i shld go grab something to eat lehaven eaten since ytdplus mummy is nagging awaybut nvm la since i am on diet hehe... |
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| BerLine❤ 6:28 PM |
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008
super good mood todaywatever...i gave it all upno more missing of himno more thinking of himno more him in my life anymorei decided to move onmaybe who know i find someone who is more worth it?even if i cannot findi wont regret too...i know who is good to me, who is bad to mejust hope everyone around will be happyso let everything be in the hand of fate ba=]i am so sorry i skip sch again!was late at firstbut as usual yuki waited for me at inter...she was so sick lalyk she was going to lose her voice soon...sms wenxi but she say she headache not going schso dun nid to say i also know wat yuki thinkingcant be so cruel to leave someone sick aloneso both of us slack at mac againwaiting for 4pm to come so tat yuki can collect the ipoh den i can go homelucky the person can meet earlierif not i am reali going to bored to death at macso she collect the ipoh at 3pmden finally i can home sweet home...PS: ed say i am like a ice mountain...am i reali so hard to be moved? haha~ |
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| BerLine❤ 4:58 PM |
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008
sometime ppl know how to look at the fault of othersbut do they know how to know back at their own?he say he didn insult meinstead he say it was me the oneden wat is all those words he say when all he want is $40so i am scolded for nth lai must admit tat i was very firm on himand he let me do wat i wanbut the motive behind is the patchonce he give uphe start to treat u lyk another persongiving the watever hell he could...he say he get the pic tat winning is not everythingdoesn it reflect on his behaviour now?maybe tat also why he choose to give upi am onli saying it once and clearly...if berline wan to win over this relationshipshe could hav give u hell on ur worst momentand dump u long agoand not wait until u take ur revenge of giving her hellbut the person she thinking of still doesn change at all!wake up 1 plus todayobviously i didn go to schand miss Ut again!not tat i dun wan gojust tat not feeling wellplus seriously not in the moodstay home all day watch showat least it help me kill timen shift my concentration onto the show... |
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| BerLine❤ 7:12 PM |
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Monday, October 13, 2008
it make no sense at all...read his post but dun get itwhy try to be nice when he choose to insult her at first?do u treat the girl good den dump her den insult her?or u dump her den insult her den treat her gd?i ask yuki this questionand she say so that at least can be frenzden my question now is tat since you dun intend to treat her gdden why wan to make her fall in love you at the first palace?u took her away...make her fall in love with you...give her all the memories...start all ur nonsense...dump her...wan to patch with her...but end up insult her...after tat ask for a chance again...but still give up in the end...den insult her and give her hell...lastly den try to nice to her...after all is everything just a game to him?late as usual todaygot a so 'i dun wan go class' feelingbut went anyway...class was as per normalonli the faci was hyper n i was not toking muchbcoz i was half awake la...end class late todaybut still get home to give my niece her sweetbcoz i bought my fav meiji sweet again=] |
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| BerLine❤ 8:29 PM |
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Saturday, October 11, 2008
had one of those death dream again
person who die who not me this time...
in the dream someone want to shot me
but it miss and hit the one beside me inside
leaving the little girl laying in a pool of blood...
the whole dream was chao
everyone is shouting about
onli the little girl lay still like a doll...
wake up 10 plus today
cant sleep further bcoz of the extreme headache
guess i sleep too much...
once stand up
everything before my eye went blur
lyk a strong light been shine into my eyes
making my headache even worst
everyone say bcoz i think too much...
time to put it down
but the heart just wont listen
and the mind just wont stop thinking...
just like the song in my blog... |
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| BerLine❤ 1:52 PM |
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Thursday, October 09, 2008
insomnia get rid!finally i can at least sleep lestill feel very tiring everydaybut thx for pei me chat at night=]was suppose to went to sch todaybcoz got sci UTbut yuki was lateplus i didn learn a single thinggo also die oneso in the end decided to slack at mac againwent home around 1 plus bcoz i am so damn boredi swear tis the last time i slack at macif not it reali going affect my resultor make me crazy bcoz of boredness... |
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| BerLine❤ 9:44 PM |
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Sunday, October 05, 2008
Insomnia. Indigestion. Insomnia. Indigestion.it just feel so shitty...Indigestion tis few daysnvr eat but still feel bloatedmummy say is bcoz i nvr eatbut it make no sense at all.went to bed around 12 last nighttoss n turn...but i just couldn sleepmy brain cant stop thinkingthe sentence keep stuck in my headwith everything elseand my eyes just refused to shut...finally fall asleep in the morningbut kanna shock by mummy voice againin the end cant sleep back again...it so shitty with tat headachebut the brain just stop thinkingi rather die if tis goes on... |
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| BerLine❤ 10:05 PM |
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Friday, October 03, 2008
this post is SPECIALLY writen to LEON ONGi swear this is the last time i going to mention his nameif not den i am reali the FOOL.since you wan to know the truth so muchden i will tell youfrom the day u choose to join the companytat where the problem ariseu rather choose something tat i dun wan u to dothan listening to me and concentrate on ur 'N'lvlu said it all for mebut did i wan it?from a girlfriend...i turn out to be like ur motherhaving to help ur mother control uworst still u dun even coorperate1 month before ur N'lvl' and u ar still no whereu dun trust me jiu suan leu even lie to me...u ar the one who say wan to break and now saying i am making you suffer?i nvr forget the day...when our parent when to sch and see ur resultu went out saying to go study outsideand ur mother call meshe told me about the incidentyour mother say:"that day i had a quarrel with leon, he was angry and smash the keyboard, after that he pin me down on the floor...i almost got kill by him. he then call kenny and james to come."u didn even told me abt this incident...worst still when i ask youyour explanation is:"oh tat day quarrel with mummy den mummy smash the keyboard"i was so angry that daybut i still hope that u didn lie to mein the end i ask kenny for the truthand found out wat ur mummy say is true.ur mummy still ask me not to tell you i know abt the incidentshe even hope i can help youand be firm with youshe even say she will tried to be more nice to youin the end u choose to blame her...tat night we quarrel again in msnall the way u still denied the factand even say want to break up...i know you will ask for a patch againso i make used of the patch to make u studycondition is tat u must pass ur 'N'lvl before i will consider abt itbut in the end...u blame me for making u sufferi had to take in ur insultsand at the same time be firm with you until ur exam is over.i think i am the biggest fool for waiting for you for the whole 2 monthand u dun even bother to think...I AM TOTALLY OVER WITH YOU LEON ONG.PS: believe or not up to you! |
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| BerLine❤ 10:39 PM |
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